Who is Stopping You? (Part Two)

A Los Angeles Police Department study determined only 2% of the population was dangerous and harmful to society. Years earlier, L. Ron Hubbard determined the percentage of antisocials to be 2.5% with another 17.5% of the population influenced so heavily by antisocials that they begin to act like antisocial personalities.

You could say 20% or less of the people you know are causing 80% or more of your troubles. One out of five people are not helping you succeed. These are the people who hope you will fail.

Once you discover which people in your life are antisocial, they have less influence over you. Because you know they want you to fail, you no longer listen to them. You also know who your friends are. Luckily, most people are on your side and hope you will succeed!

Part One covered the first characteristic of the antisocial personality: they speak in generalities. For example, “Everyone thinks you are too inexperienced,” “No one likes what you said” or “America is terrified.” Go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/antisocial1.htm to read “Who is Stopping You? (Part One). The second and third characteristics are covered below with more characteristics in the next two TipsForSuccess articles.

You can tell the difference between an antisocial and social person based on the topics of conversation they select.

Antisocial Characteristic #2

“2. Such a person deals mainly in bad news, critical or hostile remarks . . .”

“It is notable that there is no good news or complimentary remark passed on by such a person.” -- L. Ron Hubbard

The social person is the opposite.

“2. The social personality is eager to relay good news and reluctant to relay bad.

“He may not even bother to pass along criticism when it doesn’t matter.”

“He is more interested in making another feel liked or wanted than disliked by others and tends to err toward reassurance rather than toward criticism.” -- L. Ron Hubbard

Examples:

Antisocial: “Did you hear about the guy who blew his brains out last week?”

Social: “Did you hear about the guy who won the lottery last week?”

Antisocial: “So that was your fancy chicken dish? My mother’s chicken is better.”

Social: “Great chicken. Thanks!”

Antisocial: “Everyone in the office thinks you work too hard which is why you look so tired.”

Social: “Paul wishes he could work as hard as you. I think you set an excellent example for all of us.”

Antisocial Characteristic #3
“3. The antisocial personality alters, to worsen, communication when he or she relays a message or news. Good news is stopped and only bad news, often embellished*, is passed along.

“Such a person also pretends to pass on ‘bad news’ which is in actual fact invented.” -- L. Ron Hubbard (*embellish: to add fictitious details to)

Just passing on bad news is not enough for antisocials. They prefer to make it sound worse. If the truth is not bad enough, they often make up some bad news for extra punch.

Neighborhood gossipers, politicians and news reporters use antisocial statements. “Marge seems to have a different man’s car in front of her house every night.” “Unlike my political opponent, I will not tolerate child pornography!” “Many questions exist about Pete’s sudden wealth.”

The social person has a different approach.

“3. A social personality passes communication without much alteration and if deleting anything, tends to delete injurious matters.

“He does not like to hurt people’s feelings.” -- L. Ron Hubbard

Examples of social personality statements: “Marge is finally getting out and meeting some men. I couldn’t be happier for her.” “If I am elected, I will work hard to give our children a better education.” “I think Pete is finally getting ahead because of his wonderful new restaurant.”

Television news and newspapers often worsen the facts.

For example, a few years ago, CBS reported, “HUNDREDS FEARED DEAD IN FLOOD” when a storm flooded parts of California . . . two people died. In October 2001, CNN reported, “THE TALIBAN SENDS 300,000 TROOPS TO BORDERS” . . . fewer than 10,000 actually showed up.

An easy way to reduce your stress and feel happier is to stop reading newspapers and stop watching the news on television. Try it!

Good Messengers and Bad Messengers

Antisocial personalities are horrible messengers. Social personalities try to be accurate.

For example, the boss tells an antisocial messenger, "Andy, please tell Liza she’s doing a great job and can leave early.”

Andy says, "Liza, the boss wants you to go home right now. He seemed pretty unhappy.”

If Andy was a social person, he would say, “Liza, the boss says you’re doing a great job and you can leave early. Good for you!”

Antisocials not only hope people get upset and fail, they also enjoy war. For example, perhaps a few antisocials were hard at work in Washington, DC in 2003. “Everyone knows Iraq has tons of weapons of mass destruction. Iraq was probably part of the 9/11 attacks. Saddam Hussein spent millions to buy atomic bombs that can hit the USA!”

Social personalities pass on facts. “Here is an eyewitness report from 1991 that Iraq had 500 barrels of mustard gas. These two 1999 reports are from Iraqi officers who say they leaked false reports about atomic weapons in order to scare Iran. These photos from last week show a pile of missile shells.”
Marriage

Good marriages are supported by social persons. When a marriage goes bad, you can find one or more antisocials mixed in.

For example, Fred says, “Don’t tell your wife I said this, but she and Pierre have been getting awfully friendly.”

Fred then says to the wife, “Don’t tell your husband I said this, but his daily hugs with Cherry are getting pretty intimate.”

Even though there is nothing going on, the husband and wife suddenly suspect a problem and start fighting.

Antisocials also say things like, “Everyone fools around.” “I wish I was still single, don’t you?” “Most couples constantly argue.”

Social personalities paint a different picture. “Statistically, most married people are faithful.” “Married people are healthier and live longer.” “There’s nothing better than a good marriage!”

Of course, if you are married to an antisocial person, you might feel stressed by the steady stream of criticisms and bad news. You may even throw a few negative comments around yourself. Luckily, most people can become more social if they want to change.

Five Recommendations

1. Notice who around you likes to pass on bad news and criticisms. Observe who might be making bad news seem even worse.

If you know who is trying to stop you by stabbing you in the back with bad news, critical remarks and invented bad news, they will have less power over you.

2. Let these people know you do not want their negative comments. If they do not stop, reduce your contact with them.

3. Notice who likes to pass on good news and compliments. Observe who avoids negative topics and likes to talk about positive subjects.

If you know who is social and trying to make the world a better place to live, you will know who you can trust.

4. Let these people know you appreciate them and want to support them.

5. Work on becoming more social yourself. Do not pass on bad news, rumors or criticisms that no one needs to know. Try to compliment people and pass on good news.

If you live your life as a social person as much as possible, you and the people around you have a much better chance of succeeding.

Reference: http://www.tipsforsuccess.org/antisocial2.htm