Who is stopping you? (Part 1)

I got this article from Tips Of Success.. so, thought of sharing with friends.. :)

Who is Stopping You? (Part One)

The biggest barrier to a successful career is not a lack of opportunities, the job market or your city. It’s certain people.

Specifically, antisocial people—people who are devious, mean-spirited, cruel, hostile or negative. People who oppose you, treat you with disrespect and cause you trouble. They are trying to stop you.

“When we trace the cause of a failing business, we will inevitably discover somewhere in its ranks the antisocial personality hard at work.”

“It is important then to examine and list the attributes of the antisocial personality. Influencing as it does the daily lives of so many, it well behooves* decent people to become better informed on this subject.” -- L. Ron Hubbard (*behooves: to be necessary or proper for)

One of the most famous antisocial personalities was Adolf Hitler. Hitler loved children and pets. He was a vegetarian who neither smoked nor drank. He was kind and considerate to the ladies, secretaries and chauffeurs. Most people thought Hitler was a nice guy, but he organized the deaths of millions of people.

Antisocial personalities can be anyone: doctors, lawyers, politicians, business leaders, police officers, newspaper reporters, employees, men, women, old, young . . . anyone. They can be family members, spouses and colleagues. You probably know a few antisocial people.

When antisocial people are openly nasty or critical of you, you know who they are. They say, “You are an idiot” or “That idea of yours is the worst idea I’ve ever heard.” They stab you in your chest, not your back. You can deal with them directly.

The worst types of antisocial persons are those who hide their true intentions. They stab you in the back so you can’t catch them. They say, “Everyone thinks your ideas are silly” or “I heard a rumor the police might be investigating you” or “You look so tired; why don’t you take a vacation?”

Antisocials make you sick. For example, you are enjoying your day and getting a lot done. Suddenly, for no apparent reason, you feel a little upset. Your stomach and head hurt.

You review who just talked to you. Mary gave you a report and made a nice comment about the weather. Fred asked to borrow your pen and was very polite. The computer guy needed to look at my computer and said something about my computer infecting the whole network.

You think, “What was the computer guy talking about? Why did he waste so much of my time? And why are the computers always having problems? I’d better watch out for this guy.”

Suddenly, you feel better. You have spotted an antisocial person. Your day is pleasant again.

L. Ron Hubbard identified twelve characteristics of the antisocial person. The first way to spot them is to notice how they speak.

Generalities

“The antisocial personality has the following attributes:

Characteristic # 1

“1. He or she speaks only in very broad generalities. They say . . .’ ‘Everybody thinks . . .’ ‘Everyone knows . . .’ and such expressions are in continual use, particularly when imparting rumor.” -- L. Ron Hubbard

Have you ever been to a meeting when someone said, "We’re all having troubles because of the economy," “People don’t like anyone who’s too successful” or "Everyone in this area is having a rough time"? These are generalities.

Whenever you hear a statement that starts, "Everyone says . . . “ or “All the citizens feel . . . “ or "The employees think . . . ,” you must perk up your ears. You have just heard the beginning of a generality.

Now if the generality is a good message, you can relax. “Everyone thinks you are doing a great job!” “No one was late today.” “All the carpenters appreciate the wood you bought.”

However, if the message is negative, the speaker is pointing a knife at your back. “No one believes your little act.” “Everyone thinks the pay is too low.” “No one wears their hair like that any more.”

One reason the news media is such a poor influence on society is because of their generalities. Just listen to the news or read a newspaper and you see generalities. “America was shocked and saddened . . .” “Sources revealed that . . .” “Critics asked why the President said . . .”

The newspaper reporter would not be as upsetting if he or she was specific. “My daughter asked me why the President said . . .”

Because antisocial people want you and others to fail, they confuse and upset you with generalities.

How to Respond

“When asked, ‘Who is everybody . . .’ it normally turns out to be one source and from this source the antisocial person has manufactured what he or she pretends is the whole opinion of the whole society.” -- L. Ron Hubbard

Example:

You: “Nancy, you say everyone thinks I make too much money. Who exactly?”

Nancy: "Oh, uh, well, you know, everyone I talk to. It’s common knowledge.”

You: "Can you tell me who exactly?”

Nancy: "I don’t know, I can’t remember. I’ll ask around.”

You: “I’m going to assume you made this all up. Don’t say things like that to me again.”

Social Personality

While the antisocials are tearing down the world, the world social personalities are improving it. Constructive people make life better for those around them. Fortunately, most people are social personalities.

Social personalities are opposite of the antisocial personality. For example, they are specific.

“The social personality is specific in relating circumstances. ‘Joe Jones said . . . ‘ ’The Star Newspaper reported . . . ‘ and gives sources of data where important or possible.

“He may use the generality of ‘they’ or ‘’people’ but seldom in connection with attributing statements or opinions of an alarming nature.” -- L. Ron Hubbard

Examples of social personality statements: “Patty and Joan want raises.” “Everyone’s happy you’re back from vacation.” “Steve loved your speech.”

Even if the social personality is passing bad news, it is not upsetting. For example, “Kelly and Roger have decided to move to Los Angeles to help their son produce documentaries.”

The antisocial thinks bad news is an opportunity to upset you. “It seems like lots of people are leaving us . . . Kelly, Roger and others. Maybe they don’t like how you treat them.”

Recommendation :

Every time you hear a generality regarding bad news this week, reject the information. Assume the person is either careless or antisocial. Instead, ask “Who is everybody?” or “Who exactly?”

Reference:

http://www.tipsforsuccess.org/antisocial1.htm

Reason, Season And Life Time....

Its been 5 days now.. and I couldn't push this phrase off my mind till now... So, thought of pushing it off my head by writing it down.. and what else could be the better place than my blog... ???? :)
I read it in a forwarded email some 5 or 6 years back.. of course, I was pretty young at that time to find any deeper meanings out of these 3 words.,... All I saw in that email was sweet music ringing along with some really cute teddy bears, that were slowly dancing with the music... :)
I forgot the actual content of that email... and these 3 words just found some place in my already messy mind... and now after 5 or 6 years, on a hot summer afternoon... these 3 words just Came back.. crashing and making their way into my memories.... and now I realize how little I understood them at that time...

Now, when I come to think of it.. the email or the article was like about 3 kind of people who come in our life... and leave their marks on your life... some of them come in your life just for some Reason... they come for a short while.. do their job and leave them... you won't miss them after they leave...
the second category is a bit more lasting... they come for a period of your life.. like school life.. or university life.. as I understand it... but they have limited power over your lives.. they usually give you a huge amount of enjoyment and pleasure.. but that ends after a season... due to one or another reason, you either stop talking to them.. or they simply quit.. or they die or just walk out of your lives without doing you any harm.. and little benefit...
The Third kind is quite obviously the purest and everlasting kind... those who Shape and Form your lives... they always think of the best interest for you... and are always there whenever you need them.,. no matter what season.. and for which reason you need them.. :)
Those are the right kind.. STICK up to them.. !!! Don't let them go out of your lives so easily... go after them if they get angry at you... don't sacrifice a possibly long-lasting relationship on a simple matter of so-called-ego and some harsh words....
The Success of a person lies in realizing all 3 kinds successfully, and handling them accordingly... Never take a person just for a Reason.. as your life time asset.. and never take for granted the people whom you should cherish most...!!!
Now, as I think of it.. this is usually the most grave yet so easily made up mistake... we realized too late what a person meant for us... we let go of our friends.. thinking may be they weren't worth our friendship... but sometime in our life.. we do realize that we did make a mistake...
And that realization is usually too late..
SO, don't let this happen to you... !!!! Look carefully for the people who are in your life just for a Reason.. or for a Season.. or for Life Time.....
I found this wonderful pic to share on this topic... Enjoy!!! Going to sleep now.. :)

Where Have I Been?

well, have been pretty much busy.,... have been poking my nose here and there for a while now...
started organizing a table tennis tournament in office... became part of a Microsoft users community... had to write a research paper... had to take classes of 2nd semester... had to do the office work...
Well... I guess , it explains all.. :)
In this schedule, although I dont get time for Solitude.. neither does it suit me... Still I liked this poem, that Im posting... :)

SOLITUDE

An evening spent
Recalling life's events
Crowded in my skin
In Solitude

Painful yet relishing a melody of lament
Drifting through my window
Gliding in uninvited
In solitude

Last night I cried out loud
For the sake of hearing some sound
Though I did not hear any
In solitude

Gawking at my naked fear
Of living a life unseen
Yearning to belong
In solitude

I woke up in the morning
Sang a song out loud
My voice wavering
In Solitude


I walked around
In my beloved home
My skin in flames
In solitude

Every molecule of air
Brushing against me
Scorched in vain
In solitude

It was raining that morn
When I came to life
My throat stinging
In solitude

I see no soul
I hear no sound
I smell no skin
In solitude

Yet, I feel no cold
And life goes on
As I bury myself
In solitude


---
Thats all for now... will be back after a while....

Last Exam of 1st Semester

finally, the exams are over at 9th March.. was much tired to write a blog entry here... well, still am.. coz started office after no break.. and the usual hectic routine and stuff...

this week my mood kept swinging on and off... and got angry at a couple of people.. and got 'Close to fight' with another two or three... :D anyways, may be was due to tiredness.. will get back to ground state on this weekend inshAllah... :)

well, have to go to uni tomorrow to complete my review paper.. so lets hope for some rest this weekend.. :(

My First Exam

today was my first paper of MS.... well, tried to study for 2 whole days.. and the paper contained just 2 questions that were open ended... well, can't say how did it go... at best thew weren't what I expected, and at worst, they were the last questions that I expected... :D.. anyways, two more papers to go.. lets hope for the best for them...

How do I change?

If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labour.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be the master of my emotions!!!

---Og Mandino

Motivation

You know a dream is like a river, ever changing as it flows.
And a dreamer's just a vessel that must follow where it goes.
Trying to learn from what's behind you and never knowing what's in store
makes each day a constant battle just to stay between the shores.
And I will sail my vessel 'til the river runs dry.
Like a bird upon the wind, these waters are my sky.
I'll never reach my destination if I never try,
So I will sail my vessel 'til the river runs dry.
Too many times we stand aside and let the water slip away.
To what we put off 'til tomorrow has now become today.
So don't you sit upon the shore and say you're satisfied.
Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance the tides.

-Garth Brooks, song The River co-written with Victoria Shaw